" RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS - MORE TAKEAWAYS FROM FIFTY SHADES OF GREY FOR THE EXCEPTIONAL MAN "
I once read a very moving quote that I have since lost track of. It was by this Australian Love Coach. A woman named Danger Riley. I only remember the substance of it. I hope she will forgive me mangling it, but I believe the thought behind it is so instructive.
She said. Women love a man who isn't afraid to ask for what he wants. But who also understands that if she says no, it's not a rejection of who he is. In fact, he understands that the meeting of a man and a woman is the collision of two completely separate and different worlds. There are no rules as to how that interaction will go. And a man who can not just understand, but embrace the adventure of that collision and bring to it the full-monty of who he is and be willing to experience the full-monty of who she is... well, women want to know that man, want to be with him and want him to get what he wants.
Here's more takeaways from 50 Shades of Grey, an instruction manual to the female bang-me-twelve-ways-to-Sunday center. Last time we ended with talking about his dominance of himself, his world and his woman.
- His dominance and confidence means he can accommodate her desire to dominate. He finds her strength of personality a little disconcerting at first, but learns to love it because he doesn't get offended or take it personally. How to use it: true dominance is about accepting and embracing what is. Seeing the opportunities in current circumstances. As Carlos Castaneda said: The hunter sees everything as a challenge. And challenges are neither good nor bad. They are challenges.
- He plays catch. In conversation. In sex. In day-to-day interactions. When it's his turn, he knows there are style points for throwing the super two-finger spin ball. And afterward he waits for and is open to what she might throw back. Translation: do things with style. Let your style shine. And then let her have her turn. Keep quiet and wait. She knows it's her turn, she's just a little shy.
- He makes mistakes. When the superior man does something, he does it all the way. His way. He's not afraid to make a mistake. Or rather, maybe he is afraid, but he does it anyway. Despite his fear. How to use it: mistakes are part of who you are. You owe it to her to have the opportunity both to experience the completeness of who you are, and to embrace the less than perfect side of you and let it stretch her as a person.
